Anyone just get bitter thinking about how easier their life would be if they looked normal at the VERY least?

I spend most of my time in the house because it’s the only way I can minimize the mental agony I feel having to go outside and deal with being mocked and / or ignored for my appearance

But for the past couple of years I’ve found myself daydreaming about how easier everything would be for me if I looked normal like everyone else

Talking to people casually would be easier and I wouldn’t feel so anxious. That’s something I hate about being ugly is when I’m talking to people I’m usually on edge because I’m anticipating social rejection for my appearance

I feel like I’d have accomplished so much already instead of living an inactive lackluster life. I’d be able to pursue social hobbies and aspirations I have rather than feeling like I wouldn’t be taken seriously because I’m ugly

I think about how much more likable I’d be rather than being immediately and almost indefinitely hated for being ugly

I think about how free I’d feel being able to go outside and do normal things like simply going to the store. There was a point in time I couldn’t go to the store without wearing a mask because the stares, laughs, and insults was too much for me to deal with. And if I couldn’t put a hat or mask on because I lost it or something I just wouldn’t go until I found it or until my mom bought me more masks

And overall I just hate having to center my whole life around being ugly and avoiding people because of it