AITA? I refused to visit his family on Christmas.

I (27F) am yet another year responsible for all the planning and gifting during Christmas.

My fiancé's family thinks that we treat visits to my family as more important, which is not true. We visit them much more often, that's true, but that's because they invite us to events in big advance.

That's something that my fiancé's family never does. They just assume we will show up on our own. We've explained many times that we won't, because we already don't have much of free time, so if they want to see us, they just have to invite us and we can plan it then.

Anyway, my fiancé (26M) did not put any effort info planning visits or any gifts on Christmas since we met 3 years ago, so last year I made it extremely clear : next year I will make plans on my own for us, if you want to take part in it you can, but if you won't, then I'll assume you're ok with anything I planned.

He was ok with it.

This year I did not get any invitation from his family nor him, not a single word about organizing anything. I knew I could ignore them completely based on our last year arrangement, but I knew it wouldn't be fair. I called and invited us to their Christmas Eve, which they assumed we will show up for anyway.

But the rest od the days - I planned all with my family and relatives.

Today (23.12) he informed me that we are invited to his family living 2 hours drive away on 25.12. I said no, we have plans.

He got really mad and said that it's not fair that my family gets 3 visits and his family only one. I reminded him about our talk last year, but he said I should confirm my plans with him anyway.

I told him that he could have asked and I'm not going anywhere. He can go himself but It will NOT sit well with me and there will be consequences for our relationship.

AITA?

Edit:

To clarify: 1. It's not about families. It's about my fiancé - he was supposed to make an effort to at least call his family or start any conversation, so i could have details and could plan visits evenly. He did not, and then got mad when I made plans based on what I know. 2. I am the AH for not starting the conversation. I was disappointed with how it went last year, that's why I've taken his declaration he'll be fine with what I decide if he does not show interest. I wanted to make a point : if you aren't invested, consequences are on you. 3. We are spending the most important day, Christmas Eve with his family. It was all my decision. The rest of the days are planned with my family ; it's only a couple of hours a day. It's not like every second is planned. I just won't go on 4h ride both ways to see his cousins now that plans are already made. 4. It's not that my family sends formal invitations. They call and say "hey, wanted to know what are the plans..... we are meeting there and there, what do you think ". His family doesn't contact us at all, it's more like his sister calls if she can come with us and we are like "but where?".