POC FtM Experiences

I saw a post from a little bit ago saying white trans men have no other issues outside of being trans, and people were getting upset in the comments.

Imagine a world where you never see yourself. Ever. Not on tumblr, not on netflix. Not in books. Not in fan fiction. Not in the conversations amongst other trans men. Never. Never desired, never loved, never seen.

And you know that if you ever do get to see yourself, it'll always be after literally everyone else on the planet gets their time in the sun.

Growing up, every passing tip was for white bodies

Every trans man in movies/tv was white.

Every famous trans man (of which there are already very few) were skinny white masculine men who were able to access the ability to transition due to medical and locational benefits that many people of color rarely have access to.

Every conversation about trans men within intersections of the lgbtq+ community was lead by white voices.

You can't find a binder with your undertone you can't find trans tape with your shade.

Every conversation about coming out is centered around white culture.

Nothing you do with your hair will be masc enough because your hair has always been fetishized and critique.

I think the wording could have absolutely been better. Obviously lots of people regardless of race have to deal with mental illness, misogyny, other forms of bigotry, disability, etc.

But lets be clear: Personal issues impacting you are not the same thing as systemic racism impacting every aspect of your life. I feel like a second class citizen in my own community at an often worrying frequency.

Any issues you've faced as a white trans man come down on the rest of us tenfold, and ALWAYS go unaknowledged. When poc come into this community to speak on that frustration, can we please not go out of our way to invalidate them?

You know exactly what someone means when they say "white afab people do not struggle to the same extent that we do." Its true. And Im sorry. I do think that we need to be considerate of the way we speak on things regardless of race.

But Its not an oppression Olympics situation. You are not bad for being a white trans man. Nobody hates you for being white. Some of us just have it harder because we live in a world that (even within our own communities) refuses to value our personhood.

Even within my own friend groups I am not treated with the same level of care that my white trans friend is. We are both disabled. Nobody cares about my disability. I found out one of my ftm friends avidly mocked my chronic pain and not a single fucking soul in the group stopped him.

To be a black man is not a gift in this world. To be a queer black man is even more of a threat to the norm. Heaven forbid you're black queer and disabled.

It is a different experience entirely. It is often more dehumanizing than you'll ever know. And honestly I'm surprised not more of us talk about it to the extent that we do.

Finally: I feel like trans poc should not have to segregate ourselves to subs for our specific identities just to be able to talk about our experiences. Literally the first time in weeks I've seen a post about being a poc and trans, and the first 5 comments are telling bro to go to the trans poc subreddit??? Y'all. Queer spaces were never nicely compartmentalized. Please be so serious.

Empathy is so important. I know it's uncomfortable for someone to come into your safe haven and say "hey actually this isnt great for me". It feels like a personal attack. It makes you feel like youre doing something wrong.

But sometimes the differences within your own community need to be considered if we're going to make it a truly safe space.

We made it this far on fucking solidarity. We can't just stop now.

Edit: Also I understand that many of the replies to that post were made by POC. Many of those replies also focused on policing the language of OP more so than acknowledging their point. Which I feel diminishes the significance of what OP was trying to communicate.

I literally saw someone go "well white people also have other problems!" OP's post was getting downvoted.

being a person of color does not make you immune to certain biases when we live in a world built on imperialism and racism. Many trans masc POC need to hear this just as much as white trans men.

EDIT 2: Muting notifications on this post some of yall are getting a little rowdy and I'm tired of getting emails about it.