I don’t wanna live anymore

Maybe I’m weak for this but I’m tired. I just celebrated my birthday last month, but I don’t think I’ve really been happy for a while. I’ve been handling everything for my dad because he’s sick only to find out he was lying to my mom about why I was doing what he told me to do. He said he didn’t tell me to do anything, they separated almost 3 years ago.

I keep getting punished for doing what I’m told, I have an illness myself that I’m on a strong medicine for and I’m exhausted. I’m homeschooled and I just feel so alone right now. I’ve started having panic attacks, and night terrors. But it’s all becoming to much I don’t wanna keep fighting. I don’t think it’s worth it anymore, it’s not like anyone would really care if I was to go through with it.