Confronting her. This post includes swear and curse words. I am angry.

Made the mistake of googling her name again. Haven't done that in a while. Found out she gave another fucking concerts with another queer artist.

After all she did.

After she tortured me for so many fucking years

Violated me

Used my childhood trauma against me

Forced me to participate in sexual ageplay

Raped me

Beat me

Raped me while I was regressed to the mindset of a toddler

My hands are ice cold right now

I'm seething with rage and yet I'm still calm

Just blasting music over my headphones and staring at the screens in front of me

Thinking if I really should message her to tell her how much I hate her but I know it won't do anything because she's a disgusting sadistic piece of shit who deserves nothing but the worst

I'm so fucking angry, absolutely fucking seething at the thought of her giving fucking concerts and kissing someone on stage

Yet I'm frozen, which is a good thing cuz I would've already relapsed if I weren't

I can still feel her. See her. Smell her. And she gets away with it

I already messaged a bunch of clubs she played concerts at. Fuck it I don't give a flying fuck, what is she going to do to me? I just told them information that they can get if they just take a close look at her Instagram account. That she's still a fucking disgusting Nazi piece of crap and follows other disgusting Nazi pieces of crap. Which could pose a threat for me, of course I know how well they're connected.

Just want to be okay. Taken care of maybe even. Protected, definitely. Nobody protected me, ever. Just want to disappear, to scream, to lash out but nothing happens. I can't. Can't be loud, can't show anger.

Maybe I'm gonna draw something. I don't know, it's late. So angry, exhausted still. So much pain. Disgustingly aware of my genitals right now and I hate every second.