Teen Mom's Catelynn Lowell Says She'd Change This About Daughter Carly's Adoption
A few key points:
"I definitely would have picked a couple in Michigan," stressed the 32-year-old. "I would have picked a couple that wanted fully open adoption from the get-go. So there's things in my decision that I would have changed."
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Four months after Catelynn revealed her phone number had been blocked, "They definitely have 100 percent closed the adoption," she shared. "I'm still blocked and they recently told me to quit sending gifts because it was inappropriate and uncalled for, just a whole bunch of things."
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So, she and her husband of nine years can't stop, won't stop talking about their adoption journey. "I feel like now it's a duty of mine to speak about the real stuff that adoptees go through, because they're the ones who are the most important and the most affected," Catelynn explained, "and people need to know, if you're making a decision for your child, these are things that they can struggle with. And I wasn't told any of that, so I feel blindsided by a lot of it as I'm getting older. It's just really hard."
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Though their relationship is largely nonexistent at the moment, "We've asked her parents and continue to do so, 'Is it Carly not wanting contact?'' Catelynn noted. "Because if it's Carly not wanting contact, it would hurt, but we would understand and say, 'Hey, if you ever want to have it, we're here and we totally understand that all of this could be hard for you.'"
That being said, she continued, "If it's just her parents acting out of fear, it's my duty as a birth mom to show this child that I'm continuously fighting for communication, because that's what's ultimately the best for her, if that's what she wants." Because at the end of the day, she stressed, Carly's desires are the only ones that truly matter.
Her hope is that her future relationship with Carly "is whatever she wants," said Catelynn. "Whether she just wants a relationship with her biological siblings, if she wants to have a relationship with us, awesome. If she doesn't, totally understand. Whatever that looks like for her. Because it needs to be adoptee-centered."
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While Catelynn acknowledged she and Tyler have been "very open and honest" with her girls, she does worry about how they're impacted by Carly's absence.
"That's another thing you're not educated about," said Catelynn. "Nobody tells you how it's going to affect your children you decide to parent one day, and that's hard."
Still, they find ways to celebrate their eldest.
"We have pictures of Carly all over our house," said Catelynn. "It's just normal for them."