Struggling with Vulnerability, Social Rejection, and Feeling Like I Don’t Belong

I’ve been reflecting a lot on the last session I had with my therapist. She suggested I try to be more vulnerable, embrace intimacy, and be gentler with myself to become more pleasant to be around. But honestly, I don’t even know where to start with these things, and I’m frustrated.

No matter how much advice I follow—whether from my therapist, parents, or others—it feels like nothing ever works out. I feel like I’m just fundamentally different from other people, like I’m cursed or something. When I try to be vulnerable or initiate deeper conversations, people seem more interested in shallow small talk. I have so much more to give, but it feels like people are drawn to overly confident types who don’t really care about them.

I’m currently studying abroad in Norway for two semesters, but everything feels overwhelming. I have ADHD, severe social anxiety, and depression, making it incredibly difficult to keep up with my studies and assignments. Every social interaction since arriving here has been unbearable and stressful. I’ve even had embarrassing moments in activities I once enjoyed, like climbing. I’m constantly worried about how others perceive me, and it’s draining. It feels like I’m unfit for life, like every day is another reminder of how I’m not good enough.

I’ve tried everything—therapy, medication, meditation, sports—but nothing seems to help. I’m stuck in this cycle of isolation and rejection, and I don’t know how to break free from it. I crave meaningful human connection, but I’m always left feeling like I’m not interesting, skilled, or confident enough. I feel like I’m constantly repeating the same patterns: trying to connect, facing rejection, and then isolating myself again.

I’ve been called a “vulnerable narcissist” because whenever I feel overwhelmed, I isolate myself and avoid social situations. I’m tired of this pattern, but I don’t know how to change it. I don’t know how to use this isolation to my advantage or how to feel more comfortable in social settings.

What frustrates me the most is not knowing what I’m doing wrong. I genuinely try to be open and friendly, but it feels like people are just tolerating me rather than truly liking me or wanting to get to know me. I feel like I’m stuck in this high school mentality where I’m not one of the “popular” people, and no matter what I do, I don’t fit in.

I’ve tried joining clubs and making friends, but it always feels like I’m on the outside looking in. Even on a group hike recently, everyone paired up, and I found myself walking alone. I’m an introvert, but I’m open to conversations—yet nobody ever approaches me. It feels like there’s something inherently off-putting about me, but I don’t know what it is.

I’m not looking for pity—I’m genuinely looking for advice. How do I change these patterns? How can I break through this wall that seems to separate me from everyone else? I just want to feel like I belong somewhere, like I’m not constantly out of place.