I will probably never know why my mum died

my mum passed away on 7 november 2024 at age 53. she went for a nap after work as usual and that was it. we initially thought she had a heart attack. but she was sent for tests and an autopsy and they found absolutely nothing wrong with her.

we were told by the autopsy people that they took a few biopsies from her to get tested but we will probably be waiting 12-18 months to hear back because of the extensive backlog. i know people who had never heard from them.

she was the healthiest in our family. her job had her walking 8-10km a day, she had a very balanced diet, never smoked but did enjoy a bourbon at night. she had asthma and bursitis in both her hips, but she pretty much had these under control with meds etc.

i just want to know what happened - did she just pass in her sleep, was she jolted awake and realised she was dying, was she dealing with something we didn’t know about? i am 24, i just want my mummy back.

has anyone else on this sub been in a similar position? how do you learn to cope with this?