Ahh! The boundary that broke it.

All, I was recently talking to one of my friends about their relationship and how his wife wouldn't let him talk more than 15 mins with anyone on the phone, etc. Post that call I reflected on my experience with BPD and realized that one of the biggest reasons for the fallout and discard was that I had been very strict with my boundaries and used to shed light on her hypocritical behavior. For example, if I'm out of town or meeting my friends, she wanted, demanded to know why I am staying with them and what I am doing. She would be surprised that my friends are okay to stay with them for a week. She couldnt understand that friendships like that are common. And she would never give or tell any detail of how she was with her friends.

I do remember like couple of weeks before the fall out, I said that I would be busy for couple of days as I'm going through some family drama (mind you, I was still texting during those two days too). I'm sure she didn't like that I was firm with my boundaries. Of course, she was busy talking to a guy during that time so she projected strongly onto me. So, I believe that it made her mad ( unnecessary bpd rage) to just throw everything away and act sadistic, cruel.

Healthy people respect boundaries and would like to talk about your likes, dislikes, views and form intimacy. But my BPD ex just projected, couldn't handle boundaries, all while she was talking to some guy behind my back and only to break the relationship which was almost 3 years to a guy she met a month or two before. ( Of course that didn't even last 6 months)

In retro, I do think she is dumb asf (I don't care if they are high functioning or not). Sorry.