When loved ones doesn't get the depth of the abuse

I’m 9 months out of a relationship with my exwbpd. I'm in a much better place though I’m still processing everything. Some days are easier, while there is moment where I'm in the waves of rage and sadness. Yesterday, I was talking to my sister about it, and I mentioned that my ex was a bad choice. Her response was, "Then every person who has gone thru breakup will feel like they made a bad choice."

That response stung. It made me feel like she saw my relationship as just another breakup, when in reality, what I went through was collateral damage. This wasn’t just a case of two people growing apart, it was manipulation, betrayal, gaslighting, and constant emotional turmoil. I lost my sense of self in that relationship, and even now, I struggle with intrusive thoughts and emotional flashbacks.

I know she wasn’t trying to be dismissive, but it just reminded me how isolating this experience can be. Unless someone has been through this kind of relationship, they don’t really get how damaging it is. It’s frustrating because I wasn’t looking for pity, I just wanted some validation that walking away was necessary for my survival.