Aita for breaking up with my gf then attempting suicide

I (24,M) broke up with my girlfriend (22,F) after a month long depressive episode, then proceeded to beg for her to take me back which was successful, before overdosing, in an attempt to take my own life. I have struggled with BPD for years, going undiagnosed until after my attempt, and although I truly do love my girlfriend, I also believed I truly wanted to die. My girlfriend, let’s call her Bailie, was my only support system throughout my mental health journey. I would never in a million years intend to hurt her but we’ve gotten into many arguments where I’ve realized my constant isolation is damaging to her mental health. I was at my lowest point mentally, and decided it would be better for both of us if I just disappeared. I tried to completely remove myself from her life before my attempt, but was unsuccessful as she didn’t want to let me go, desperate to help me, and I soon realized that I needed her in my life, as my girlfriend. I thought her love could be enough for me to survive, but then ultimately decided I deserved to die and I had to leave her behind. My attempt was unsuccessful, and ever since I have returned from the psych ward there is a strain on our relationship, with my girlfriend’s mental health heavily declining despite her still wanting to support me. I was venting about this to a colleague, who told me I sounded abusive and I was an asshole. I just want to know the truth. AITA?